“Her Value”

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“Her Value”

“Mama, why did you not eat your breakfast today? Weren’t you hungry?”
She only smiled at me and said,
“I already ate two pieces of bread awhile ago, maybe you just never noticed” 

I didn’t believe what she said, I felt that she doesn’t, but I’d just taken it for granted,

“Mama, your clothes is too old, why not buy something new?”
“No, it’s fine, these clothes are still useful, there’s no need to buy one”

“Mama, did you buy my favorite T-shirt? How about the books that I want to read, or can I have my allowance this week? ”

I excitedly inquired those questions without asking if she had moneys, though she never failed to provide all those,

Days have passed, she was sick, but I was not with her, I was busy at school, I laughed loudly with my friends but when it comes to her I only smile rarely, we barely have long conversations either.

One time, I went home late, I saw her waiting outside for me, I silently entered the house, it was so clean and organized, my messy room was in order, then I glanced at her, she looked so tired and weary.

But I only told her how happy I was in school, instead of asking her how is she? Did she take a rest?did she sleep on time?instead of asking her if she feels better or ask her if she already took the medicine, I never said I’m sorry for going home late, I never did apologize for being useless.

I don’t know why she doesn’t scold me anymore nor give me punishments, so I asked her “Ma, aren’t you tired of me? Did I become a burden to you? Why did you not scold me every time I made mistakes?every time I failed you?”

She shed tears and wears a smile and looked at me straightly and said,

“No son, I’m not tired of you, I’ll never get tired of loving you, you’re my son and you will never be a burden to me, I will not always scold you for going home late, I’ll still wait for you outside, I will not shout at you for not making your assignments, I’ll help you if you want, I will not take grudge on you for ignoring me, for being insensitive, I’ll always understand you.

If I scold you, I know you will make the same mistakes again,
If I shout at you, I know you will keep distance to me,
I won’t make you feel that I hate you, I want you to learn from your mistakes, I want you to be independent, cause I can’t be with you all the times, I can’t journey with you forever, so as long as I’m alive, I’ll still keep on loving you and I do hope, you will learn to value the most important thing to me and that is your love.”

I was speechless when I heard all of those from her, I run out of words, so I just tightly hugged her while crying.

Words by: Andrian Adong
Artwork: Photo Credits to the Rightful Owner

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